The Misfits - Static Age (Full 1997 Release)

Static Age is an album by the American horror punk band the Misfits. It was recorded in 1978 but was not released in its entirety until 1997.

Track Listing:
1. Static Age
2. T.V. Casualty
3. Some Kinda Hate
4. Last Caress
5. Return Of The Fly
6. Hybrid Moments
7. We Are 138
8. Teenagers From Mars
9. Come Back
10. Angelfuck
11. Hollywood Babylon
12. Attitude
13. Bullet
14. Theme For A Jackal
15. She
16. Spinal Remains 
17. In The Doorway

Well lets get right down to it shall we? This is my first album review on this blog so i figured we'd start with the first album from the greatest horror punk band that has ever existed. The Misfits. The album was originally recorded in '78 but wasn't released in its entirety until '97. All because some big time record label said they had trademarks rights to then Glen Danzig's 'Blank Records' record label name. Pfft. Fuckers. This album changed the face of punk rock forever. Mixing punk and a tad bit of 50's rock music with horror themed lyrics, The Misfits spit in the face of traditional punk. This album contains some of, in my opinion, the groups most memorable tracks as well as my two favorite songs by the group; Some Kinda Hate and In The Doorway respectfully. Among those two songs She, Last Caress, and Bullet are also timeless classics with in The Misfits' legendary song list. The lyrical content contains references to classic horror films (Return Of The Fly, Teenagers From Mars) JFK's assassination (Bullet) and Marilyn Monroe (Angelfuck). This is an album that i can put on and listen from the beginning to the end. Over and over and over. They songs are catchy and somehow strangely nostalgic due to the lyrical content and 50's rock feel. If you have never heard The Misfits, after you punch yourself in the throat for being a god damn moron, run out and buy this album, on vinyl if at all possible for the most genuine sound. Trust me I'm Some Guy.

In The Doorway w/ Lyrics

Some Kinda Hate w/ Lyrics

Curse Of Chucky

I have always been a big fan of the Child's Play movies, with the obvious exception of seed of chucky..... that movie was ungodly. I feel we should find all copies of that absurd excuse of a movie and bury them in the same pit that the NES E.T. cartridges are in..... fucking fuckity fuck of a movie. But I must say, 'Curse Of Chucky' renewed my faith in hte franchise. It doesn't take a comedic view and goes back to the horror roots that these films were based in. And thank christ for that. Chucky, as always, is voiced by Brad Dourif, and has the same foul mouth as always which for some reason i find very nostalgic. Child's Play was one of the very first horror movies i ever saw back when i was about 7 or 8. Something about a swearing, satanic, possessed, serial killing doll just brings me back to my childhood..... yea, kinda fucked up eh?

Set twenty-five years after Child's Play, a Good Guy doll, arrives in the mail of the family home of paraplegic Nica and her mother, Sarah. That night Sarah is found dead from a stab wound and her death proclaimed a suicide. And this is where things start to keep nutso. The next day Nica's sister and husband, who seem to hate one another far more then like each other, show up with their daughter and for some reason a priest. I felt from the introduction of hte priest that he was nothing more than murder fodder for Chucky. Thats always been my biggest problem with the Child's Play films, for some reason you can always tell what character is just there for the purpose of being killed off by the possessed doll. Anywhosits, there's some talking about moving Nica to a nursing home and the usual arguments arise, yada yada yada, cut to dinner being made. Where, when left alone, Chucky makes his first move by poisoning one of the dishes. This was one of my favorite parts of the movie because you don't know who's plate has been poisoned and all the characters during the dinner scene all act as if something is wrong. Not the most original scene ever put on film, but it keeps you glued to the screen.

Now i leave my review fairly vauge so as not to have any spoilers for readers who might not have seen the movie yet. So heres a little, if very vauge, run down of hte rest of the film. Chucky fucks up everyone in some of the best and goreiest ways of the entire franchise. Oh yes, oooooooooh fucking yes.

That was just a teeny tiny little taste. This film also give a really good explanation as to why Chucky has chosen this family and the other family's in the series. It definitely helps bring the films full circle. Jennifer Tilly, a.k.a. the sexiest woman alive, also makes a short appearance in the film. And make sure you stick around after the credits to see the return of Andy Barclay, played by the actor who has always portrayed Andy, Alex Vincent. This film will not disappoint anyone. Weather your a die hard fan of the films or just now (and i don't know why you would just now be finding out about these movies)discovering the joys of Chucky, Curse Of Chucky is a god damn decent horror flick with all the classic horror elements. Trust me, I'm Some Guy!

View the trailer for Curse Of Chucky

Stephen King's 'IT' Movie Review

Yes. There. Right up there is the reason most people cant sleep at night. Pennywise The Dancing Clown, from Stephen King's terrifying book 'IT'. Now I know, technically it's not a movie, its a mini-series, but fuck it for all intents and purposes i'm calling it a movie. The movie was originally broadcast on ABC in 1990. It was a two night event, and i'm willing to bet thousands upon thousands of people lost sleep for far more than two nights. The movie starts off with a little girl singing the itsy bitsy spider in her back yard where her mother has hung the laundry out to dry. This my friends is where we get our very first glimpse of the premium nightmare fuel that is Pennywise.

Yup. Prepare yourself for a lot of that face. Pennywise is played BEAUTIFULLY by Tim Curry. And honestly, can you think of any one else who could have done it so wonderfully psychotically well? Can you imagine this being your motivation: Ok, you're an entity who takes several forms but you're mostly a clown. A clown who kills children and devours their souls. Fuck me. That couldn't have been portrayed by anyone else other than Tim Curry. Not that Tim Curry is the only great actor in this film. John Ritter, Tim Reid, Richard Thomas and making his first acting debut as the young Richie Tozier is Seth Green. So there is a great deal of talent in this cast. The grown up Loser's Club

The Loser's Club as children

The film does a wonderful job of playing on your fears. IT takes several forms depending on his victim. Everything from the clown, a werewolf, abusive father, dead brother, and a crazy fucking spider thing. Yes. IT is truly your worst nightmare come to life. The first part of the film takes place, for the most part, in the 1960's in the haunted town of Derry in the state of Maine. This half of the film Focuses on the group of children, who dubbed the selves 'The Loser's Club', Bill Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon, and Stanley Uris, as they all become friends and first encounter Pennywise. They each have different encounters with IT but are bound together because they all know something is wrong in the town of Derry. The first part of the film does a fantastic job of making you care for the small band of misfits. They are just your average everyday children just like we all were at one time and you can really identify with at least one character. Be it the over weight shy kid, the girl from the poor part of town, the new kid of a different race, the kid with the stutter, the sickly boy, the class clown (no pun intended) or the brainiac. One of the kids you will be able to identify with and grow attached to through out the entire movie.

The first part of the movie also introduces us to Pennywise in all his horrifying splendor. The thing toys with you and feeds off your fears. This monster is fucking ruthless. I mean he pulls a child's arm off through a sewer grate for fucks sake. Pennywise also has some of the most memorable lines in the movie. 'We all float down here.' 'Beep Beep Ritchie' 'Want a balloon?' And several more. And since they all are delivered from the mouth of a child murdering clown, they're just that much more scary. He could say, "Please pick up your socks." And it would be creeeeeeeeeeeepy as shit!

The second part of the film focus on the Loser's Club all grown up and their coming back to Derry to finish off IT. The second part of the film is a lot less interesting and creepy as the first. Most likely because their no longer children going through their first encounters with the creature. It is also I feel slightly goofy. The scene with Ritchie and Pennywise in the library for instance. This isn't to say that the second half isn't good because it is. It just draws more on the events that happened in their childhoods as opposed to new things that may have happened in their lives.

Stephen King's IT is a classic horror movie. If you're afraid of clowns you'll have a heart attack. If you're not afraid of clowns, by fucking god you will be by the time the credits roll on this.


Click here to see the trailer for Stephen King's IT (1990)

The Lost Art Of The Horror Movie Poster

When was the last time you saw a movie poster and thought, "Damn that's cool as shit! I gotta see this flick!"? A little while huh? What happened? Movie posters from the seventies and eighties were bright, vivid, graphic and imaginative. Nowadays you get screen shot that's been ran through a filter.
What ever happened to using fucked up images to draw us in? Even if the film was awful, and you knew it was awful, if the poster was cool, you watched that shit.

See that? You wanna watch that shit now don't ya? Yeah you do, and who could blame ya, it seems like it would be a pretty decent viewing. But it seems like the golden age of movie posters is behind us. Why? Maybe our imaginations have gone soft on us. Or maybe society is attempting to make the younger generation soft? That a discussion for another day. So lets check out some movie posters shall we?

Now tell me you wouldn't watch those movies based just on those posters. They are awesome and memorable, just as they should be. But sadly it seems the hayday of horror art in movie posters are behind us. That's not to say good movie posters aren't out there. Most foreign posters are fucking epic.

Pretty gnarly correct? There are also fan made posters called mondo and minimalist posters which are in my opinion the coolest ones. I mean who better to draw in fans of a film then actual fans of the damn film? Here are a few examples:

Wicked right? It just shows that fans know fans best. So next time you see a bad ass movie poster, soak it in, movie posters are that little view in to the film they are advertising and good ones don't come around too often. √ Some Guy